tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Marilyn Monroe Goddess)
This is one of the first Lucero songs I learned to strum.



Seeing this youthful vision makes me nostalgic for a time when life seemed more crowded in the dualities of love and loneliness. A time when there was always a friend to drink with and a shoulder to lean on. Not much of that time can be found anymore.

I don't rightly know all the reasons why, I know a few though. Change is inevitable and love can weary the heart. Oh but how I have loved.

~TigrisSky
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Marilyn Monroe Goddess)


In a past life I must have been cruel.

I do not mean a past life I can only dream. A dream in which might be recalled the love between Alexander and Hephaestion. No, not just a dream.

I mean a past life, that at times, feels like yesterday.

Days like these I find myself confronted by such a life; of my past. Seeing straight through the mask of self prepared so carefully within the depths of craved, perhaps depraved, acceptance. Leaving me to wonder what good, if any, I may or may not have provided.

In the eyes of wonder, the waves of cold doubt crash into me. Cold I use to possess. As if there was some form of self that deserved to be possessed by such cold.

A cold that forces you to crawl inside the womb of your anxieties, wrestle your demons, question your value, and die ... unto your own visions of self, repeatedly. Until the very moment there is nothing left to die unto.

Awakening.

Recognizing the very lack of definition with which you are born. In this life, and the next. In whatever moment you finally decide to live, that is.

~TigrisSky

The Seasons

Tue, Feb. 14th, 2017 08:20
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Marilyn Monroe Goddess)
Much of our theatrical entertainment celebrates the fantasy that the "bad" guys get their comeuppance and the "good" guys are left feeling vindicated. However much I wish to accept this portrait as some kind of truth, I cannot help but remember a key lesson, of which a major in mass communications provides; it is not the ordinary which serves to entertain but the extraordinary.

The extraordinary is also how stars explode and life forms from the dust.

Like a Phoenix from the ashes, life rises, regardless the outcome of right over wrong. You can't direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails. With love, unconditional.



You can only trust adjusting your sails as far out as the waves will take you without tossing you overboard. So it is discovered that success depends on the size of your confidence as it comes to such matters of the heart.

To deeply love is to truly see the presentation of self without condition. Conditions exist within the judgments and expectations that love just can't seem to forgive. Love, unconditional, forgives all.

Loving conditions keep the full experience of life locked, hidden, lost. The only choice left; to give up or push on.

Continue following the path which may allow you to achieve the ability to love, unconditional. Along this path confidence grows allowing the sails to carry ever farther out to sea.

Along the way we are convinced of the duality this thing called life shares with death. As if Apollo where not the sum of Dionysos, simply because one restricts while the other expands. Whom takes which role is portrayed as a seasonal affair. How quick it is forgot, the seasons are not simply determined by the the time of the year.

It is not always the dark which expands and the light which restricts. It is not always the light which expands and the dark which restricts. Growth and stagnation can be found in any direction; the wind through the sails, the fire of the heart, the crash of the waves against bare feet stepping upon the sandy shore.

So it is we are brought into this game of survival. Taught the difference between right and wrong. Given preference to life over death. Gifted the worry of legacy. Our success determined by a society running away from being. Driven by the obsession of doing. Believing that the bad guys get their comeuppance and the good guys their vindication.

Meanwhile, constant change washes over us. The good becomes bad. The bad becomes good. The forces of nature overwhelm the choice of which is current and which is dying.

Leaving us with only one truth, one choice, to stagnate or to grow.

Is this the answer? I do not know with any certainty that their even is an answer. Just choice.

~TigrisSky
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Marilyn Monroe Goddess)


2017 quickly approaches, allowing a moment to reflect on the numerologically defined "9" this year has definitely been. I can only nod my head, in a form of acceptance and, perhaps a bit of appreciation, for the way it all played out. As a sort of initiation into the questionable form our human civilization is divisively taking towards becoming ...

Speaking of becoming; now is also a time to reflect upon the person I became in 2016. As well as postulate hopeful scenarios of the person I wish to become in 2017. How resolutely I succeed in accomplishing my "becoming" is affected directly by my willingness to change the reflections of that which "became" me.

artemis and apollo barry windsor smith.jpg

I am taken back six months, to a reflection from my birthday, of which the following seems relevant to share in order to understand my resolve for 2017.

"I am the artist of my truth, my wisdom, my experience and I do not intend to forget the pictures I have created along the way. Some of them bolder and louder than others. All of them a reflection of my creation myth.

A myth that started 39 years ago in a different time, in a different place. The history of which has ridden a wave of historic change in which I have had zero affect in shaping.

I am simply human. Part of a species advancing phenomenally as a whole. If such advancement, of a single species, to the detriment of so much around it, is to be considered a phenomenon. Which, even within my cynicism, I am left feeling is phenomenal. Knowing, in the grand scheme of the Universe, the Earth is but a tiny speck of dust, and the human species barely of microscopic consequence.

Yet, at the same time, we are the Universe experiencing itself. We are made of the stars, born of the sun and moon, birthed by an Earth mother that has created the perfect environment in which such a species can thrive. An environment in which we can learn, manipulate, and create through nothing more complex than a simple quiet moment in observance of nature.

It is in those silent moments that I am most grateful. Grateful for the experience becoming absolutely nothing more than a momentary microscopic breathe, on a cosmic speck of floating dust, in the vastness of a Universe I cannot even comprehend a minuscule fraction of, has granted me.

If you are reading this, it most likely granted me you.

No matter how briefly or incompletely I have loved and I have been loved. Unabashedly. Luckily. Sometimes even miserably. Only the Gods them self are able to comprehend, in one brief vision, the overall importance in such love."


On top of the vanity of the 20 pounds I vow to lose, this knowledge is what I vow to build from and upon in 2017.

To remain grateful for whatever amount of love for me exists in this world; in the hearts of those who keep me in their life, in whatever way they may choose to keep me.

To remain silent and observant to the nature of the world around me and the self that is developing within.

To attempt to paint some masterpieces worth remembering, even if they are heartbreaking, and most especially if they are love making!

To remember I am simply stardust, experiencing the Universe, as a form of life sculpted of the Mother known as Earth, guided by an invisible Father called Time; and, in spite of this travesty, I will continue to try and become more anyway!

Happy New Year!




With much love,
~TigrisSky

Budding

Sat, Dec. 31st, 2016 13:00
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Marilyn Monroe Goddess)
These many years spent, inventing, investing, invigorating, all to the benefit of a thief. She who could not comprehend what made the treasure she now possessed of such value. In broad daylight, in front of everyone, aided by some; looking straight into your eyes, shaking your hand with a smile, as if receiving rather than taking.

What was never yours to begin with.

None of it ever is.

Often, children are not given the credit in knowing the world for what it really is - chaos. We become stronger, more independent beings, because of this chaos, not in spite of it. While those sheltered are the first and most easily deceived by it. Consumed by the desire to reach a perfection chaos simply can never allow. Creating nothing more than a life of missed moments, that could have been spent, reveling in disorder and imperfection.

Out of darkness comes life.

Of course it hurts.

~TigrisSky ©December 31, 2016

The Unknowns

Sat, Nov. 12th, 2016 17:55
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Marilyn Monroe Goddess)


I like it here, in the past. Where just the right song unleashes an energetic flood within. Where the ignorance of youth struts through the world carrying an invisible guarantee of future ownership. Where death is just an imagined scenario of attendance and guessing how many hearts will be broken. On good days that is. On bad days it is simply a struggle to discover reasons to bother staying. Trying to believe it is their jealousy and not your inadequacy that entices such behavior. If you were not about to be King you might just give up.

Perhaps Alzheimers will not be all that bad. Living here, if I can just keep remembering here, I can stay here. Right? Believing I am a little girl, out in the woods alone, the big bad wolf by my side and a Mighty Mouse at my beckon call. It will be beautiful. Except in the awake moments. Offered a reality of an unknown old woman staring at me in wonder. Not knowing how I got into this body, this room, surrounded by all these unknowns.

When did I end up so alien? Sitting upon this spec of dust brought to life by the eye of Apollo. I know I was born this way, not yesterday, yet I wasn't bought or sold this way. All those half baked ideas on the cover of magazines teaching me exactly what I never could be. Those were the always and never of everything I was promised I would be. If I just, if I just, if I just ... turn to dust.

All that can be afforded in a time none bare witness until some bare ignorance. Laying claim that she is in the river when we all know she is of the land. A Virgo to be precise; if you ever wonder why it is that I analyze. Everything and nothing in the lies.

To make sense of it all is, at times, the most tiring thing. Forced to predict the facts of the outcome desired. Preparing for the redemption of the choice before it is ever made. A ladies prerogative presented to enhance the darkness. Sometimes it is hit, sometimes it is miss. It all depends. Just how long can you hold your own against the antagonists hatred of self. Before reaching the moment of awaited failure certain to see your rage.

Yet maybe if I just turn the page. Or the volume up on this song and the next. I can remember riding the bus next to him. What it felt like to be Queen of the backseat with clothes on. His eyes speaking the truth of a broken heart. His lips professing such strength on his part. Letting me go.

Nowhere but here, in this moment, does it matter where I came from. You can stick tape on the ends of the cassette tape and record over it all. Playing the radio, collecting the songs you can't afford to buy. Pausing to skip the advertisements of a life never to be recorded in the history where anyone looks.

by TigrisSky
©November 12, 2016
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Marilyn Monroe Goddess)
There is a time where you try again, take a risk, putting one foot in front of another and step right off the edge of that cliff.

Maybe you'll fly.

Such a notion is all you need to proceed. To open the box of secrets, to eat from the sacred tree of knowledge, to let all of humanities doubts and fears escape into the world. Like Pandora, like Eve, like Ishtar and Inanna eating from the tree of knowledge and becoming the star of Venus. The star of hope. The star that leads the adventurer far from home and back again.

"When I began my journey of personal work and healing, I began to hear the word 'drama'. It addressed all the shadow, the brokenness, the emotional upheavals, the victimhood... you know what I'm talking about. It meant that this drama queen was not the 'real' me ~ but someone who was indulging in some seeking attention gimmicky behaviour.

I too picked up that word, and looked at my life as a soap opera of continuous twists and turns, highs and lows, and with great sincerity began to work to heal. Did a lot of work with my inner child. Deep gratitude to all those who supported me on my journey.

I also collected a lot of shaming messages on my way. Which I eventually learnt to give to myself. It was easy to shame me as shame has been big in my life. I began to interpret the difficult situations of my life as melodrama. Of course, sometimes, a hard shake-up does wake us up from an unconscious sleep. When I heard my behaviours being called drama and was told to get out of all that 'stuff' ... I was able to look at my life in a new way. I healed a lot of my auto-response behaviours once I understood the pattern.

Today, I can see how screwed up our body responses become through endless trauma creating experiences. Our body stores each and every memory of a fight or flight response that could not be properly executed. Our protective barriers have been breached a million times, (you know that if you are a girl travelling in public transport in India), and one simply learns to 'live with it'. So much numbing happens along the way, as our way of response gets frozen into habitual patterns.

Today, I am really sorry that I used the word 'drama' in a way that demeaned or shamed my brokenness, or any one else's brokenness. I want to deeply honour each one's life story and mine as well. I am glad I woke up to this, and apologise to anyone to whom I used this word. I am sorry."

The few quoted paragraphs above are from Sukhvindar Sircar, a woman of great respect whom I follow on Facebook. Her words came as I began writing this piece. A beneficial coincidence to the direction of my thoughts. Describing, with great analogy, the place I have been for so long now.

Yet here I am in this moment, on the precipice of transformative growth. A completion of sorts, into the beautiful bud of whatever flower I choose to become. To finally be done with time spent worrying about who I am and where I belong.

I belong nowhere.

I am variable.

This is exceedingly good knowledge. Knowledge of which I seem to periodically forget and rediscover.

A cycle completes and a Fool makes her way out into the world. Variable and heading nowhere she doesn't want to go.

Sand in her toes, awakened by the light of Venus, the star of hope, as she steps out into that ocean of night ...



~TigrisSky
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Marilyn Monroe Goddess)
Processing.
Processing.
Processing.

The Magician. The High Priestess. The Emperor. The Hermit. The Devil. The Tower. The Chariot. The Lovers. All spoke loudly to me this weekend as I journeyed through the major arcana of Ms. LaVielle's explanation. It was a powerful journey which started with a powerfully foolish question. A question that found many answers during this years sunfest celebration; both inside and outside of ritual.



The Emperor seemed to bring the loudest message. So much so I requested a copy of the words from the Grecian who embodied him; Big Daddy himself. I was truly caught off guard at my reaction and connection to this particular tarot card as I have always shrugged The Emperor off otherwise. It is a card that simply never held much influence when I came across it in readings or selection of decks to work with. Not for lack of knowledge of it's importance, yet simply because I am so deeply in touch with and directed by masculine energy. So much so I could find nothing to learn from it. I live the part, so much so people who interact with me are often put off by my detachment to emotion and overtly logical focus on truth and scientific reductionism. (Cumberbatch's portrayal of Sherlock Holmes provides an example of such persona.)

As Big Daddy spoke, I was taken aback in my connection to his words. To put it simply, I have always understood the energy of that card so well that I never spent time with it. Yet here it was, telling me to look at it, to think about it, to recognize how exactly it was I utilized it to manifest my life. It wasn't the masculine energy in my life, my father and other male relatives or the male relationships both romantic and non that were the point. It was instead my relating, my perception, my use of the power of the masculine that was the point.

I have not felt myself in a long time, I have lost my ability to simply be comfortable in being me. Yet I am still here, still me, still manifesting positive change and growth. I have not lost me, I have just been trapped trying to figure out who I am now ... now that everything has changed.

I do not have the answer yet, I simply know it is the message of the Emperor, Big Daddy, that will lead me to discovery.

~TigrisSky
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Marilyn Monroe Goddess)


I contemplate becoming that woman who simply leaves it all behind. I don't mean the woman who packs up her things and uses her passport to disappear. No, not simply the woman who starts over somewhere else, hopeful in the new adventure she has stepped into.

No. Not that woman.

I contemplate becoming the woman who takes too many pills, letting go completely of everything she ever was or could become.

It isn't because I am not grateful. It is not because I cannot see the beauty of the world around me. I certainly am. I certainly can.

I understand, however, that the world doesn't need me in it. It will never matter that I was here. I will never do anything, be anything, accomplish anything.

If I reach old age I will be left to hope that I have enough monetary value for society to place me in a care home. I will be left to hope that this care home offers more than bed sores and a television that helps ignore.

In the interim of moving towards the hope of that reality, the darker and harder it all gets. Yet still, life blooms around me and I am nothing if not grateful for the experience, the beauty, and above all else, the love.

It is all so futile though, constantly in search of hope for a momentary experience of joy, fulfillment, satisfaction, accomplishment ... whatever it is we need to be fully present and savor what it is we are going through.

Addiction. Habit. Comfort. Ritual. Security. Conformity. All the things that bring some fleeting sense of worth in continuing on accepting the drive life has, to simply be alive.

It isn't so much that I am depressed, as it is I recognize the truth and just don't want to play the game anymore.

The battle of good and evil. In a world where everyone seems to think they are right, as if their existence has some sort of importance in regards to the overall outcome of things. This is what creates such a battle. Before empires, before conquests, before territory, there was no good versus evil, just life.

I cling to the simplistic beauty that is life, but society demands so much more and cares so little for life. I feel deeply the constant bombardment of hatred for life, extraneously displayed when one cannot fit any of the molds society requests.

I certainly cannot fit the molds. So it is the value of my life is obsolete here.

Just ask anyone you find yourself better than.

Just ask yourself in the moment any emotion associated to fear of another human sets itself inside you. For it is in that moment the molds of society you cling to shine brightest. It is in this moment life is no longer simply life, but instead a cancer. A cancer learning and growing en masse, clinging to life for no more than a means to feed itself and keep itself growing.

Life continues to move farther and farther away from nature, it's Creator. Spiraling deep inside the idea of individualism, separatism, self-importance, which in itself is the creator of the delusion of good and evil. In turn creating the molds which define such concepts. The molds which define the society in which we live.

The molds in which I will never fit.

~TigressSky

p.s. This is not a cry for help. I am not in danger of hurting myself. Seriously. Sincerely.

Happy Birthday

Wed, Jun. 1st, 2016 21:58
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Marilyn Monroe Goddess)

"There's an end and a beginning to this quiet chaos driving me mad." ~Snow Patrol, New York

The countdown has begun. Soon I will step out of the public sector back into the private. The golden handcuffs are being removed. In a sense it brings a rush of fear, but mostly it provides a rush of euphoric excitement encompassed by an image of me diving into a sea of possibility.

At the same time I find myself invited back inside in a way I did not think would exist for me again. It is new and it is exciting and it would not have happened, in my work or personal life, without my stepping away and letting go first.

Still ... sometimes unfavorable things resurface in subtle ways. I remind myself that there is reason to be enlightened of such treason and the walls it creates.

We tend to forget that not all walls are limiting. Some, in fact, hold the greatest works of art our life will ever know. Reminders that are not there to block. Reminders which display the truth of experience and the ingenious tact with which wisdom is designed.

I am the artist of my truth, my wisdom, my experience and I do not intend to forget the pictures I have created along the way. Some of them bolder and louder than others. All of them a reflection of my creation myth.

A myth that started 39 years ago in a different time, in a different place. The history of which has ridden a wave of phenomenally historic change in which I had zero affect in shaping.

I am simply human. Part of a species advancing phenomenally as a whole. If such advancement of a single species to the detriment of so much around it is to be considered a phenomenon. Which, even within my cynicism, I am left feeling it is. Knowing, in the grand scheme of the Universe, the Earth is but a tiny speck of dust, and the human species barely of microscopic consequence.

Yet, at the same time, we are the Universe experiencing itself. We are made of the stars, born of the sun and moon, birthed by an Earth mother that has created the perfect environment in which such a species can thrive. An environment in which we can learn, manipulate, and create through nothing more complex than a simple quiet moment in observance of nature.

It is in those silent moments that I am most grateful. Grateful for the experience becoming absolutely nothing more than a momentary microscopic breathe, on a cosmic speck of floating dust, in the vastness of a Universe I cannot even comprehend a minuscule fraction of, has granted me.

If you are reading this, it most likely granted me you. No matter how briefly or incompletely I have loved and I have been loved. Unabashedly. Luckily. Sometimes even miserably. The Gods themself only know how I have loved and been loved ... and maybe you.



~TigrisSky
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Dark Beauty)
This question could be asked in regards to my journal. Yet the hearts esoteric connection to self is what brings it into being.

I have spent the best years of my life being a part of it all; forgetting the importance of simply being me.

Since the beginning the way forward has always been lead by a continuous search for deep connection.

Waste of time.

Since the beginning the way forward has always been unwaveringly directed by a revisionist soul.

A soul obsessively devoted to love.

Such a contradictory predicament; life. Ushering you in with all the feminine strength this world can muster. Indoctrinating you with all the masculine ego this world can sell.

Every now and again a life preserver can be found keeping it all afloat. Yet if you never let go and swim; well, even salt water surrounded with sharks can feel safe if you get comfortable enough holding on.

Hold on long enough you will forget anything you ever dreamed of.

Hold on long enough you will forget how to dream.

Spend enough time drowning and eventually you won't need air to breath.

Some days I am ready to stop breathing.

Right now I try and remember how to dream ...

~TigrisSky

tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (starbuck)


Or is it?

This is a question I am contemplating with much thought as of late; focusing mainly on interactions of my past. Which in turn is helping me to analyze if it really is so bad to have such hypersensitivity now and moving forward?

I am regaining foothold in self, connecting and reconnecting to who I am and reawakening to the importance of truly and deeply loving the me that I am; regardless of anyone's expectations.

I haven't figured it all out yet, I just know I am hypersensitive and, according to G.I. Joe, "Knowing is half the battle!"



I wish it didn't have to be a battle ...

Although I suppose it is a good thing that this is tearing me apart. It has to mean something that all this loss, change, and growth hurts so much. Right? I mean if it were easy then I would know it hadn't been worth it. None of it matter. All those moments and memories in my head and heart would be empty, meaningless, pointless, loveless ...

It was worth it.

All of it.

So take that look out of here, it doesn't fit you
Because it's happened doesn't mean you've been discarded
Pull up your head off the floor, come up screaming
Cry out for everything you ever might have wanted
I thought that pain and truth were things that really mattered
But you can't stay here with every single hope you had shattered ...


oath_of_wolves_by_nababa-d90ketl (1).png

You can't stay here with every single hope you had shattered.

No, no I cannot.

Stop clinging; start flowing.

~TigressSky
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (starbuck)


It is perhaps best I stick with the name Tigris Sky, (TigressSky, Tig, Tiggy, Tigeroni with Cheese, Tigster, Tigopolis, Tiglet, etc.).

I am an atheist in the land of Pagans.

I wasn't raised with an indoctrination of any specific religion in my life. I have always sought out answers to the mystery though. American society tends to adhere to Xian religious ideals in one form or another. So it is in that Xian space I began learning. As a child I adventured to attend Sunday school all on my own while believing I had a Goddess who lived in my kidneys, (whom I called Kidna), and animals, especially horses, talked to me.

I thoroughly enjoy researching, studying, learning, and discussing history. In high school I really got wrapped up in the escapades of Alexander the Great. Which led to a deep connection with the ideal of Greek society & mythos and their philosophical roots in modern societies design. It would not be until university that I would discover a section of the bookstore called "New Age" and familiarize myself with the term Pagan. Starting off with a book called "A History of Pagan Europe" by Prudence Jones & Nigel Pennewick.

In my initial studies of paganism, most of my time was spent online discussing with others all sorts of topics. I was even in charge of several boards and communities on differing subjects. A group of us had formed a site called the Indigo Bridge Cooperative, a website dedicated to providing accurate information on Paganism to Pagan groups and organizations. We also provided web design support to many different pagan groups at the time. Remember, this was the mid-nineties and not much was online, but a lot of what was popping up online in regards to Paganism was pretty poorly done and not well maintained.

After university I moved back to Oregon and found connections at Cleda's Magickal Garden in Jefferson. Before this intro to Cleda's Garden, any Pagans I had dealt with offline IRL (In Real Life) were just assholes. It took about a year of convincing from friends before I was even willing to set foot into the Garden. Once there I was hooked though. Much like Troutlake Abbey, you just feel the magick when you step onto the grounds. Unlike Troutlake Abbey, this site did not have dedicated financing behind it's creation. Significantly smaller, the stone circle has been a progress of community creation since its inception, a little over 15 years ago. Either way, I find both sites truly amazing wonders to behold, and feel lucky to have them both in my back yard!

I have organizational skills up the yin-yang and love putting things together and manifesting them with others.

For the past ten years I have worked with a committee of volunteers from the area nearest Cleda's Garden to put on two festivals each year (Beltane and Fall Equinox) and several other sabbat rituals (Imbolc, Samhain, Full Moon, Garden Anniversay, etc.). I have written several rituals, led and participated in many different roles in several more, edited and critiqued even that many more. These rituals have touched many different spiritual paths (Egyptian, Greek, Norse, Mesopotamian, Hindu etc.), dealt with many different ideals (community, love, reciprocity, tradition, etc.), and presented many different themes (tarot, Dracula, the tree of life, the gundestrap cauldron, dark & light, etc.).

A few years ago I completed training here in Portland in the practice of Tantra and am a Tantrica (Tantric Priestess). The first 'official' practicing title I have been assigned in Pagan community.

As happens, the committee I was so deeply involved in has gone through many changes the past few years and I have felt a little out of place. I have turned back inward to focus on self for awhile and am not really willing to dedicate to making things happen with or for others at this point. I am slowly re-emerging, with a differing perspective of who I am and how I want to proceed coming with me. I have been suffering a bit of anxiety with this change, as I am uncertain as to how I will be received, where any of this will take me, and where exactly I am willing to set sail just yet.

A visit last year from my long last Aunt brought to fruition that my Mother was a practicing Witch. I know that sounds cliche, but I have spent the past couple of years reconnecting to her, and so it all makes perfect sense to me that I am only just now finding out about my "natural" inheritance. I certainly do not mean that as a claim to some sort of greater abilities or birth right, as so many others do. It is not like my Mom taught me the tricks of the trade and honed my skills in any way. It just makes sense to my life and makes my connection to this path seem more solid.

So here I am ... trying to find my way ... again.

Rinse and Repeat ... so is the cycle of life.

~TigressSky
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (starbuck)

↑ ↑ ↑ YES. PLAY ME. PLAY ME NOW. ↑ ↑ ↑





Rush Hour
~TigressSky © July 17, 2015

What has my life become
Sitting in this cube
Impatiently waiting to experience
Rush hour
To become more
Exhausted and frustrated
A moment to sleep it all away
Then awaken to experience
Rush hour
And start this process anew

This isn't where I ever imagined I would be
In a high rise
Next to I-84
Wishing I had done something
Anything at all
That would have taken me
Anywhere but here

When I lose that drive
That tells me I can matter
I can make a difference
To someone or something
Great or small in this world
I can be
Something
More than this moment
Then
It is over
The grand 'They' have finally gotten me
The 'Man' keeping me down
Yes master I adhere

Yet is it man
Or is it the self
That keeps me confined in this nothingness
A meaningless task
Shuffling electronic information
From here to there
Keeping people imprisoned
To the importance
Of receiving acceptance
From the world
Acceptance granted by a printout
Of proof of who they are
Without it they will be allowed
Access to nothing of value
Defined by society
The mastermind controlling
Such proof of you
Of your very own existence

It is all so simple to see
Yet kept busy we are left blind
To the history of where
When, why, and how
This all became
And how simply different
It could all be
How simply simple
It could all be
How our very evolution
Is the de-evolution of life

Is it time for revolution
Inside and out
An awakening to selflessness
Unconditional love
Peace

Or is it an impossibility
Of reality
To be so
Free

(no subject)

Tue, Apr. 19th, 2005 09:30
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Default)
My Astrological Portrait from Astrodienst (thanks FG:)-

This report is a short edition of the AstroText Portrait. It is meant as a sample and advertisement for the full version of the AstroText Portrait which can be ordered from Astrodienst as a bound report of about 20 - 30 pages. In the short edition, only a few, but nevertheless important aspects of your natal chart are considered.

As you read your short report, or any other astrological report, keep in mind that the energies interpreted here are your birth potentials. However, you may or may not choose to actualize these energies in the manner described. Your age, sex, socio-economic situation, education, environment, level of development, and many other factors contribute to the ways in which you express your natal energies. Remember, the planets do not compel you to do or be anything. They influence you, but you still have the free will to determine your own life.

The report was generated with the following birth data: female, born on 1 June 1977 at 12:00 noon in Portland, Oregon.

Your sun sign is Gemini. This is the sign in which the Sun is in your birth chart. Your Ascendant is in Virgo, and your Moon is in Sagittarius.


Partner references which may occur in the text are set for a relationship with a man. Explanation







Sun in Gemini, Moon in Sagittarius

You were born with the Sun in Gemini and the Moon in Sagittarius. Your individuality appears intellectual, while your personality tends to be emotional. Inwardly you are intelligent and dynamic, and your mind is active. Your keen intellect is given to theoretical ideas and mental speculation.

If you could live as you pleased, it would be a nomadic, gypsy sort of existence, totally free to experience new situations and people. In your daily affairs, others see you as restless and unsettled.

In dealings with others you are sincere and, unless extremely pressed by circumstances, totally straightforward. Others regard you as a vibrant person. You display a tremendous interest in philosophy and religion, and enjoy developing your own functional ideas.

The key to a better integration of your being is to harmonize your inner self, which is primarily intellectual, with your personality, which is more emotional.




Ascendant in Virgo, Mercury in the Ninth House

At the time of your birth the zodiacal sign of Virgo was ascending in the horizon. Its ruler Mercury is located in the ninth house.

This indicates that throughout your life you will assume a reserved, quiet, analytical, critical, and receptive attitude.

Although you are not an individual with a very strong ambition, you possess the ability to persevere and exert ingenuity.

Some selfishness is noted. However, if you are able to counteract this trait with your natural helpful and sympathetic attitude and address your positive qualities to resolve the problems of others then you will accomplish your highest spiritual duties and your degree of consciousness and perception will be expanded.

You are not afraid to work but you like to do things where you can use intellectual resources rather than mechanical ones. There is some independence here but don't try to be forceful about it because Virgo's natural habitat is one in which the person is led by some powerful authority and where the important decisions are best made by others.

You are very attentive to detail and this makes you a good worker, especially so in those jobs that require a great deal of precision and observation. You have a desire for purity and though you don't mind relating to others there is something that you do dislike: continuous intrusion of your privacy. Business and practicality should be very important in your life. Although we are not advising you to turn against your natural traits, which make you slightly reserved, we would suggest that when in love you let yourself relax and respond so as to be able to return some of the affection you are receiving.

Life will find you in many situations in which you will function as advisor and counsellor; make use of these opportunities to project the power of your creativeness.

Mercury, in this house indicates a devotion to knowledge and a mind which is analytical and inquiring. The position, however, is not unconditionally favorable as it tends to give you a dislike for the more material aspects of life and perhaps puts too much emphasis on the abstract modes of thought. You should try to develop more of the practical side of Virgo and adapt your higher thoughts to practical realizations.




Moon in the Fourth House

The Moon was found in the fourth house at the time of your birth. Moon here will definitely influence events concerning your mother, places of residence and family matters.

Both your childhood and even your older age will be characterized by a love of romance, various journeys, and interesting adventures.

The liability of this astrological combination is that it gives you an uncertain position in life and a perpetual striving for material security that seems to be hard to come by. This may be relieved temporarily by your receiving a small inheritance and will be almost overcome by the final years of your life by excellent family care and assistance.




Venus in the Ninth House

Venus was found in the ninth house at the time of birth. Your mind appears as very adaptable, gentle, peace-loving and tactful. This position indicates that the secret for your ability to reach a state of harmony and emotional balance may come through the use of your higher mental powers. You have been born with an exquisitely refined, artistic mind which has a very subtle appreciation of all that has to do with culture. Your disposition is kind, congenial, gentle and sympathetic and you have a natural ability to assist other individuals.

This position gives you much social intercourse with intellectual persons and success derived therefrom.

Merely minor disabilities will affect you in your intellectual endeavors. The worst that could happen would be an overly inquisitive, indecisive nature that never seems to be satisfied. However, you have within you the ability to avoid these psychological obstacles.




Sun in the Tenth House

The Sun was in the tenth house at the time of birth. The Sun here promises honor, success, and prestige in adult life. Publicly you appear as a vital, proud, powerful person. Your individuality has the need to manifest itself publicly and often to foist its energy on others. You have come to life with a satisfactory physical and moral heredity and you are going to acquire the favorable disposition of many persons of power to assist you in your ascent through life.

Your liabilities include an exaggerated pride, arrogance and a tendency to rely too much on your own resources.




Saturn in the Twelfth House

Saturn was in the twelfth house at the time of birth. This planet may place many unpleasant and annoying obstacles in your life, and intensify the feelings you have about the limitations of your environment.

Your professional honor affects your feelings very much and you are well satisfied when things go well. Destiny may have to teach you to tell the difference between fact and fantasy more clearly.

Certain complexes nest in your subconscious and show up in your mind as hypersensitivity, wanting to be alone and to do things by yourself so no one will know how you feel. You need a bit of humor and self-confidence.




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AstroText Portrait - Short Edition

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for Ember (female)
born on 1 June 1977 local time 12:00 noon
in Portland, OR (US) U.T. 19:00
122w41, 45n31 sid. time 03:29:51

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Planetary positions
planet sign degree house motion
Sun Gemini 11°08'58 10 direct
Moon Sagittarius 10°14'43 04 direct
Mercury Taurus 17°03'33 09 direct
Venus Aries 26°09'26 09 direct
Mars Aries 26°45'50 09 direct
Jupiter Gemini 13°02'23 10 direct
Saturn Leo 12°12'52 12 direct
Uranus Scorpio 08°29'06 03 retrograde
Neptune Sagittarius 14°52'29 04 retrograde
Pluto Libra 11°30'20 02 retrograde
True Node Libra 23°23'12 03 retrograde


House positions (Placidus)
Ascendant Virgo 01°43'11
2nd House Virgo 23°39'13
3rd House Libra 21°13'58
Imum Coeli Scorpio 24°48'59
5th House Capricorn 01°05'35
6th House Aquarius 04°01'24
Descendant Pisces 01°43'11
8th House Pisces 23°39'13
9th House Aries 21°13'58
Medium Coeli Taurus 24°48'59
11th House Cancer 01°05'35
12th House Leo 04°01'24

Major aspects
Sun Opposition Moon 0°54
Sun Conjunction Jupiter 1°53
Sun Sextile Saturn 1°04
Sun Quincunx Uranus 2°40
Sun Opposition Neptune 3°44
Sun Trine Pluto 0°21
Moon Opposition Jupiter 2°48
Moon Trine Saturn 1°58
Moon Conjunction Neptune 4°38
Moon Sextile Pluto 1°16
Mercury Square Saturn 4°51
Mercury Quincunx Neptune 2°11
Venus Conjunction Mars 0°36
Venus Trine Ascendant 5°34
Mars Trine Ascendant 4°57
Jupiter Sextile Saturn 0°50
Jupiter Opposition Neptune 1°50
Jupiter Trine Pluto 1°32
Saturn Square Uranus 3°44
Saturn Trine Neptune 2°40
Saturn Sextile Pluto 0°43
Neptune Sextile Pluto 3°22

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