tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Marilyn Monroe Goddess)
The Wonder
by TigrisSky ©October 30, 2016

The wonder of smiles
Casting black clouds of doubt
Over ignorant hearts
Beating strong just the same

Nothing can stop you
From gaining the knowledge
The truth is in playing
Not winning the game

Which always ends
In nothing
But dreamers
Closing their eyes

To chance
That in this one
Moment in time
All life will start

To make sense
Out of fears
That come
With the territory

Of gypsy heart
Of native mind
A shaman expands
All visions beyond

Horizons to reach
Pasts to dispel
Myths to create
Fires to ignite

Passions to explore
Ecstasy at levels
Beyond this base
We sit upon

Earth
And wonder
How it all began
To end

tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (starbuck)
I've done it wrong.

In some form I have done it all wrong. Repeatedly.

At least it wasn't with insanity.

Yet, there is no one to blame for the lonely state in which I continually find myself, but myself.

Sure, I know what pieces others have played. Yet I have always been the Queen on my chess board. Able to move however I want, whenever I want, wherever I want. The blocks caused by the other players on my board, they were momentary. Sitting in that square until it was their turn to move again.

Move they did. Away from me. Close to me. All around me. Some even knocking me right off the board from time to time. Yet the game always seems to end with the Queen -- alone.

In truth I have always just been treated as a pawn. Treated as if that "Queen thing" was just a passing phase. I dove right into it and as soon as it was over I was never contacted by my King again. Ever.

I always thought that was how it should be. That I was a bad person anyway, for causing issues in a relationship I had no right to step into the middle of. I just told myself I was suppose to hurt.

With all of the loss in connection I keep telling myself I am the one who is suppose to hurt.

It is now 7 years later; and with each loss, each judgment, each disconnect, I have just remained silent - because I am suppose to hurt.

I'm great at keeping me in my place. I'm just not so great at knowing what that place is should be.

"Curiouser and curiouser ..." Alice mumbled as she headed farther down the rabbit hole.

~TigressSky~

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