As you age life teaches you to let go. Which may be the answer to the age old question, "Why are we here?"
To learn to let go.
I love playing the drums, it energizes me, it makes me feel good, I think about it a lot and do not get to do it often enough. Time; why do you torture me so?
At the past couple of events, where large groups are getting together to play music, there have been young teenage boys, whom also play the drums, and just one drum kit to play on.
When I wasn't at the helm of my cheap drum kit, I enjoyed every bit of the boys drumming. Yet, at the same time, I was flooded with all these feelings, all this desire, all this envy to be the one drumming and most especially to be able to drum as good as those boys. (My gods they drum good!)
So it is, while sitting on the sidelines waiting for a turn, the longing to drum would overwhelm me. I would find myself grumpy, feeling left out, not good enough, my heart feeling a very literal physical ache to play and to play at least one song as good as those damned boys!
These are the feelings, which in our youth, grant us motivation to try harder. To try harder so that we can be accomplished next time. Providing us the outlet, the drive, the desirous ability to push past and become.
Yet in our aging, those feelings lead us to also recognize that we can only get so much better before we can no longer do it at all. That we will never be as good as, or get better than, those coming after us. That our turns in the sunlight are no longer achieved by following the infinite trail leading from sunset to sunrise.
Eventually the sun just sets.
We have to learn to let go, or those feelings that come with this human desire to achieve and be will devour us. They will become our norm. They will cause us to become that grumpy old judgmentally embittered person who hates life and can't believe, let alone deal with, all the idiots in it. Sunset~TigressSky © August 13, 2014~
We are always traveling
Into the sunset
In youth always ensured
The sunset will become sunrise
An ascending light of hope
As if by magic
From the dark
Of Pandora's box
Telling us how
In this new day
In some new way
We can achieve
We can be
We are always traveling
Into the sunset
In aging frames denied
The hopeful light
Descending to stillness
There is no escape
From being locked
Of this moment
We can ever be
We can ever achieve
The drumming example is a very simplistic one; yet it gets the point across. We all must learn to let go, at every stage, in order to move forward, until that ultimate moment when there is nowhere else to go, nowhere else to move. That place where nowhere is home and everywhere is exactly where you are meant to be.
All at once ... nothing.
We all work our way through to the ultimate goal of becoming nothing - no matter how hard we fight against it. It is so hard taking hold knowing the ultimate goal is to just let go. Yet at the same time it is the acceptance of this nothing, this letting go, that makes life so wonderfully beautiful.
It allows you to explore and experience every moment, every connection, every feeling, every visual, every touch, every smell, every thing visible, everything invisible, for exactly what it is and what it brings ... right now ... right here ... this moment.
BE HERE NOW!
I've been excited for the future often, for the possibility of some grand out come, some goal achieved.
As I travel through the desert of ideas this life presents, a desert filled with the infinitesimal sandy grains of hope. I grasp a handful and I walk, holding it close to my heart. Yet the sand continuously pours through my fingers, causing me to lose hope, and at the same time causing me to cling to it. Until eventually where I am going is made clear; and that goal, that grand outcome, well, it is all simply a mirage.
It is so beautiful though ... as I reach my hand toward the crystal clear water every mirage contains, it shatters. Shatters like glass, all the pieces that brought me here, falling away without care.
A deep breath as around me the emptiness fills in.
I open my hand to find the last grain of sand.
I must let go.
I have to let go.
I let go.
Sometimes it is harder than others. Most times I remain still, hand closed tightly around the last bastion of hope. I reflect on all the broken pieces shattered around me, all the grains of sand lost, all of hope that led me here.
How much of it was never real to begin with?
Was it all a waste of time?
Time I cannot get back.
Is an illusion.
An illusion we stagnate in. Wondering. Hoping. Waiting. For something. Anything. To grant us the knowledge of all we are. All we must be. All we should be. All we can become. As all we are is already upon us, is all around us, if only we can learn to let go and simply be ...
~TigressSky~“If what you are following, however, is your own true adventure, if it is something appropriate to your deep spiritual need or readiness, then magical guides will appear to help you. If you say, 'Everyone’s going on this trip this year, and I’m going too,' then no guides will appear. Your adventure has to be coming right out of your own interior. If you are ready for it, then doors will open where there were no doors before, and where there would not be doors for anyone else. And you must have courage. It’s the call to adventure, which means there is no security, no rules.” ~Joseph Campbell