tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Marilyn Monroe Goddess)

The Magician. The High Priestess. The Emperor. The Hermit. The Devil. The Tower. The Chariot. The Lovers. All spoke loudly to me this weekend as I journeyed through the major arcana of Ms. LaVielle's explanation. It was a powerful journey which started with a powerfully foolish question. A question that found many answers during this years sunfest celebration; both inside and outside of ritual.

The Emperor seemed to bring the loudest message. So much so I requested a copy of the words from the Grecian who embodied him; Big Daddy himself. I was truly caught off guard at my reaction and connection to this particular tarot card as I have always shrugged The Emperor off otherwise. It is a card that simply never held much influence when I came across it in readings or selection of decks to work with. Not for lack of knowledge of it's importance, yet simply because I am so deeply in touch with and directed by masculine energy. So much so I could find nothing to learn from it. I live the part, so much so people who interact with me are often put off by my detachment to emotion and overtly logical focus on truth and scientific reductionism. (Cumberbatch's portrayal of Sherlock Holmes provides an example of such persona.)

As Big Daddy spoke, I was taken aback in my connection to his words. To put it simply, I have always understood the energy of that card so well that I never spent time with it. Yet here it was, telling me to look at it, to think about it, to recognize how exactly it was I utilized it to manifest my life. It wasn't the masculine energy in my life, my father and other male relatives or the male relationships both romantic and non that were the point. It was instead my relating, my perception, my use of the power of the masculine that was the point.

I have not felt myself in a long time, I have lost my ability to simply be comfortable in being me. Yet I am still here, still me, still manifesting positive change and growth. I have not lost me, I have just been trapped trying to figure out who I am now ... now that everything has changed.

I do not have the answer yet, I simply know it is the message of the Emperor, Big Daddy, that will lead me to discovery.

tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (starbuck)
Had a pretty awesome time, considering, at this years Sunfest. I may post more about Sunfest itself, yet that is not what this post is about. This is about what the time at festival surrounded with love, beauty, laughter, sun, some music I love, and a notebook and pen can cause me to create.

For awhile, I lay quietly in the sun, intoxicated, music in my ears and then ...

This song, by my Music Mistress - Ms Nicks, inspired the following piece ...

Constant Sunrise
by TigressSky : ©June 23, 2014

... and he said, come down here for a minute ...
Sweet Girl
” :Sweet Girl by Stevie Nicks

The Queen of Hearts
Will always keep your cards
Next to her heart
Your secrets kept safe
In her arms
But the White Rabbit
Will take you


Kaleidoscopic rabbit hole inside your brain
To a tea party that has always been
Run by a Mad Hatter helping it to stay
Hidden away
Just like your heart


Towards the ever present Cheshiric grin
Of the girl who gets so easily lost
Inside of it all
Outside of your arms
She smiles and they smile
She laughs and they laugh
She cries and they

No longer know
What to do?
                                   Do you?

Take her
Just enough to burn yourself
Ever engraving her smile
Her laugh
Her tears
Where everyone
Must pay attention


Play a loaded game
Of croquet
Against a crown of hearts
Holding an armful of secrets
Followed by a pack of cards
Offering a safe ride


And then ...

This song by the only man I have barely met who seems to know everything about me - Mr Ben Nichols, is called "Take Shelter" and inspired the following piece...

by TigressSky : ©June 23, 2014

He is beautiful
He is free
He is the face
Of the music that makes me
That takes me


His hands speak
Of the work it takes
To be
And to not be


And he is not mine
And he is mine
And he is not here
And he is here


(no subject)

Fri, Jun. 24th, 2005 12:26
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Default)
So, Sunfest, not all it was cracked up to be, but I do suppose it had Beltane to live up too and well, it just couldn't even come close. You could however put the two together and come up with some sort of Yin-Yang of negative emotions (Sunfest) and positive emotions (Beltane). Sunfest's negativity came from, what I beleive anyway, an issue with to many chiefs and not enough indians. It was gossip central and High School cliqued and just like High School I managed to enjoy myself throughly and be willing to do it all again.

I knew it would all go down hill the first night our bunkmates plotted to give negatively charged magick mushrooms to, well, what I learned at the next community meeting was the ENTIRE heads of the houses OWOW. As I watched the next day, said bunkmates simply cow-towed to everything their nemisis's wanted which just brought me to the next level, no trust of the smiles there. Gossiping behind each others back, that was happening all over. What really clenched the negative energy for me though was when I went on a walk with Cerridwyn. She saw the wagon out front and asked to ride. Knowing it wasn't mine I figured I would just pull her around near the lodge and that would be that. Not 10 seconds into the ride a monstrous yell came at my back of accusation and belittlement. I turned to find myseld being berated for my audaucity to steal someones wagon right in front of everyone. Yes, I am that stupid. What made it worse was the fact that I apologized for touching the wagon and instead of a stop to the berating she decided I needed to hear some more. Bitch is too kind of a word at this point.

Thank the Gods for T&A who managed to salavage the positive energy and surround me with it. It really was a beautiful site with LOTS of beautiful people and I am glad that they were there with there energy drawn to help me see it. Of course the two or three dozen Ogg hugs I managed to squeeze out of him made the energy all the greater. The fact that I got to flirt aimlessly with someone younger than me and he flirted back, even if just a little, made it fantastic. Meeting Sienna and hanging out in the Tantric Temple, particpating in the Tanric ritual, made it beautiful. It was really an amazing weekend in beautiful surroundings when you managed to push the petty negativity aside.

As soon as I got home and let my energy guard down and relaxed though the sickness overwhelmed me and I have had the head-chest cold from Neptune's Coldest Depths ever since. :P BLAH!!! Getting better but I wish my ears weren't plugged.

News from the home front is as follows:

Thomas leaves tomorrow to spend a month in CA with his Mom.
I am still unemployed and happily receiving unemployment.
The job hunt is on and moving ever steadily nowhere. Ready to settle for jobs that have nothing to do with my degree so I can enjoy life.
The next few weeks (months) will be spent fixing my backyard up if anyone wants to come and work...err I mean play.
I plan on getting better know at the Garden so my participation and connection there are no longer in question.
I have been made Manager of Maclloyd's Murias and have many days of work ahead of me on that.



tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Default)

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