tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Marilyn Monroe Goddess)

The Magician. The High Priestess. The Emperor. The Hermit. The Devil. The Tower. The Chariot. The Lovers. All spoke loudly to me this weekend as I journeyed through the major arcana of Ms. LaVielle's explanation. It was a powerful journey which started with a powerfully foolish question. A question that found many answers during this years sunfest celebration; both inside and outside of ritual.

The Emperor seemed to bring the loudest message. So much so I requested a copy of the words from the Grecian who embodied him; Big Daddy himself. I was truly caught off guard at my reaction and connection to this particular tarot card as I have always shrugged The Emperor off otherwise. It is a card that simply never held much influence when I came across it in readings or selection of decks to work with. Not for lack of knowledge of it's importance, yet simply because I am so deeply in touch with and directed by masculine energy. So much so I could find nothing to learn from it. I live the part, so much so people who interact with me are often put off by my detachment to emotion and overtly logical focus on truth and scientific reductionism. (Cumberbatch's portrayal of Sherlock Holmes provides an example of such persona.)

As Big Daddy spoke, I was taken aback in my connection to his words. To put it simply, I have always understood the energy of that card so well that I never spent time with it. Yet here it was, telling me to look at it, to think about it, to recognize how exactly it was I utilized it to manifest my life. It wasn't the masculine energy in my life, my father and other male relatives or the male relationships both romantic and non that were the point. It was instead my relating, my perception, my use of the power of the masculine that was the point.

I have not felt myself in a long time, I have lost my ability to simply be comfortable in being me. Yet I am still here, still me, still manifesting positive change and growth. I have not lost me, I have just been trapped trying to figure out who I am now ... now that everything has changed.

I do not have the answer yet, I simply know it is the message of the Emperor, Big Daddy, that will lead me to discovery.



tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Default)

March 2017

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