tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (starbuck)
Been trying to focus more on my writing again, which is why there have been more consistent, (sometimes rambling), journal posts as of late. I have to find my way back to just writing for me, just being for me. It is so important to not lose my humanity.

I have discovered that, over the past several years of social media use, I have lost my ability to concentrate. I have all of these ideas I want to write about, which of course always seem daunting to start, yet I use to just start them. Now, I allow myself to get distracted by scrolling through social media - commenting, posting, re-sharing, peering into lives of friends and people from my past regularly.

Even when I do get started writing I get off task easily. I write for a little bit and then my subconscious is like, "you should see if you have any notifications on your social media?" "Hey, social media is fun, go use it." "Hey, hey, you have wrote two paragraphs, that is way more of a word count than anyone will even bother to read anymore."

So I shove off and go scroll through social media, come back, re-read what I already wrote, try and add to it, sometimes do, sometimes don't. Sometimes just scrapping the whole thing because, "it's irrelevant now," "I am just not feeling this anymore," and "time."

I have to get my scattered brain back under control. Social media serves some valid purposes, I just need to remember what those are and then let the rest go.

No more commenting on completely incorrect items people post to further expound upon how they were right all along about some topic they simply have such an attachment too; that even if the evidence they are presenting is completely false, and provably so, they still would never change there mind about said topic anyway. Not that changing minds was ever my goal. I don't truly care. I just thought they did.

This very point simply makes me realize how far out there one of my biggest personality traits, (flaws depending on your point of view), are; and that is analyzing the shit out of everything until the most logical answer is found. I should call it my Spock complex.

Due to my Spock complex I just believed that everyone would want to know the facts, logic, science, reasoning, etc. behind the topics they posted. I really thought people were that interested and that involved in these topics. Truly.

Especially when most everyone is posting the same shit, "GMO's are bad", "don't put fluoride in the water", "Guns don't kill people, people kill people," "America's democratic system is not broken, just being taken advantage of", "vaccines are bad", "such-and-such famous person is dead", "you can make a camp light using mountain dew and baking soda", "this political candidate is the best!" etc., etc., etc.

There was usually a lot of passion behind these posts.

Because of this passion, I didn't have any reason not to trust that people were posting these topics with a Spock complex leading the way. I had no reason not to trust that they truly had a deep knowledge and understanding of the topics at hand. I do not mean that to sound stuck up, although, I suppose, how can it not?

Anyway, I truly just thought everyone had the same Spock complex I do. Especially when espousing and sharing such sometimes complex, life defining topics.

The topics that interested me or that I saw the most frequently, and therefore were intrigued to know more about, I would follow-up with. Research myself. Following the links and then continue on to find more, typically from the article/posts referenced research material itself. Research material which claimed - "this or that scientific peer reviewed journal proved" whatever was being reported. Only to find most everything was bullshit.

That is when I went back to checking SNOPES first. Why waste my time doing all the research when a group was already there doing it for me - in most cases.

Currently, there are a few "scientists" and "doctors" claiming SNOPES is rigged and can't be trusted. Now I find all the people who get "check SNOPES this is false" responses regularly are posting how they "always knew SNOPES was not all it is cracked up to be" and "it "can't be trusted."

Ugh!

I researched that bit of information as well. Yeah, it's bullshit too. The men claiming to be scientists/doctors who know what they are talking about in regards to SNOPES are charlatans - plain and simple.

*sigh*

Anyway, the whole point of this is ...

There was a time when I got caught in the social media game. Riled up with the masses. Which lead right into the 2008 elections ... and things got political all over social media.

After posting nothing but debunk and politics everyone started blocking or unfriending me. Why? Well, first off and most importantly - because I was fucking annoying as all hell. Second, no one cares. No one wants to hear the truth. No one wants their opinionated, un-fact checked bias to be trampled or even questioned. No one wants to be constantly reminded that our government is so corrupt and we are so complacently controlled with consuming that we just allow it because - cell phone, cool car, right clothes, designer puppy, and, that celebrity said so!

Especially on the biggest social media site out there, Facebook.

Once the obvious bell rang in my head and I realized how I had pushed people away because of all the above which equates to - "I am fucking annoying!" Well, I was pretty fed up with myself and the whole depressing social media experience.

So, recognizing my addiction, for 3 months I shut down my Facebook account, and stopped going to numerous other social sites.

At this time I also started using G+. Following like minded, science focused, save the world but know the truth people. Focusing on only learning, positive and inspirational post sharing. The whole platform was just different than Facebook and a couple other social sites I use. Partly because of who I was following, and partly because it was so new.

For many reasons I wish could have been handled elsewhere and, for many people I cannot connect with elsewhere, I went back to Facebook. I do not know if three months is a long enough break though, because, although I focus on positive, fun, uplifting, knowledge sharing posts now, I still post to often there. I still end up checking in all the time. I still can't help put be pulled away from my writing to go and scroll through the news feed and see how many people "liked" something I posted.

So, that is my next challenge. To break the FB habit. It takes 21 days to make a habit and it takes 21 days to break a habit. So a habit I shall break!

We shall see right? We shall see ....

~TigressSky~
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Default)
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NO!
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Default)
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Where were you 9/11/01 everyone is asking. Well...it was a whole other life for me but,

I was curled up to my Marine husband. Cuddled close after a long night of passion that lead to exhaustion and both of us wanting to call in sick to work. It was around 6am on the western coast of the United States as my Marine's phone rang. He bolted upright out of bed and asked quickly several times, "what!? what?! what?!"

As the TV went I on opened my eyes quickly to the sound of dreaded dismay in my Marine's voice, "oh no. Fuck." We watched the smoke rising and I grabbed him to me. I didn't even know what I was seeing yet, all I could comprehend was that my big strong Marine was in dismay. So I did the one thing I knew needed to be done and I wrapped myself around him, kissed his neck, breathed into his ear.

The second plane hit soon after that and my Marine jumped out of bed, "fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I'm never getting out now."

He was to be discharged honorably on September 20th. That didn't happen as they put all military on lock down. He was in so much dread and I remember thinking to myself, "they can't take him from me."

At work that afternoon we all sat and listened and watched. I worked in advertising sales for a newspaper at the time so the reporters were writing like fiends. The office was running amuck, but none of us was really working. Just trying to grasp reality, wondering why we were there. Then the call came in, my Marine said, "they called. Pack your shit and wait for orders."

My heart sank into the pit of my stomach. The tears poured out down my cheeks. The towers had crumbled and now they were sending my Marine off to die.

No one stopped me from leaving work. I rushed home and made love to my Marine, over and over again.

That is where I was.

~TigressSky~
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Default)
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I would have killed that lawyer before I left Montana.

~TigressSky~
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Default)
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Yes. And yes.

To this day, like the idiot I am, I still do this. It never turns out as beautiful as I imagine it in my head.

~TigressSky~
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Default)
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The simplicity of my answer may get me some jeers but...

Curled up on my couch, watching bad movies, next to a man who loves me and really sees and knows me.

~TigressSky~
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Default)
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Pay off my credit card(s) and go on a pubcrawl vacation of Scotland.

~TigressSky~
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Default)
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Fucked them. Yeah. They liked me for that moment and usually want to fuck again.

~TigressSky~
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Default)
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Voting IS just another way to keep you in a closed distracted bubble.



The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don’t. You have no choice. You have owners. They own you.



~TigressSky~
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Default)
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Which song would you pick to describe your romantic life, and why?



Sixteen
~Lucero~

You were sixteen
When you fell in love
All grown up now
Once was enough
Beat the odds one night
Forty-east

At the end of the bar with the boys
She orders a drink over the noise
As she pays, she sings in time
"I am so unsatisfied"
Her lips movin' with the words
Her hips swayin' as she turns
Away from the bar, out of sight
"I wish the band would play all night"

You were sixteen
When you fell in love
No one told you
It won't be enough
Beat the odds one night
Twenty-two

At the end of the bar with the boys
She orders a drink over the noise
As she pays, she sings in time
"I am so unsatisfied"
Her lips movin' with the words,
Her hips swayin' as she turns
Away from the bar, out of sight
"I wish the band would play all night."

--------

I was 16 when I left my youth to be with the most mentally and physically abusive man I have ever loved. It was love, in some disturbing form and it was going to be perfect. White picket fence, perfect house, perfect kids, perfect life, if only I could be perfect. If only.

It was one of the biggest learning experiences of my life.

It was at 22 that I finally stepped up and out of that situtaion. I spent seven years with that man, 6 of them living in his fearfully disturbing grip.

I moved back home. I went out to a bar for the first time in my life on my 23rd birthday. I danced at a huge club (now closed) called Panorama in PDX and just let myself loose and free. I found myself again. Financing my habit through babysitting and spending every ounce of my earnings partying it up every weekend at the Panorama, dancing with my sister and new friends. Flirting with "my" bartender, who let me cut in line and gave me free drinks constantly.

I have been through several incarnations of "love" since, learning lessons I should have as a teen. Falling for lines. Getting trampled. Cheated on. Taken advantage of. I have written more than a novel's worth of poetry on the subject of love, because it is the one thing I have no control over.

Yet in the end, through all the turmoil labeled as love, I have found the only truly understanding love comes from the voices and words of men and women I will never touch. Men and women who sing "my" song, know exactly how I feel, exactly what I am going through and caress me alone at the "bar". (And by "bar" I have to say I am not a big drinker so quite often "bar" is a restaurant, coffe shop, festival, ect.) The bar, where no man approaches me, they just stand and oogle and watch me grab my drink, turn away and sway, as I keep on singing with the only love that will ever be true to me in my life ... music.

~TigressSky~
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Default)
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Just about as much as anyone who is elected can do in one full term I imagine. Absolutely nothing.

~TigressSky~
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Hobbes)
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I judge people based on their taste! **slurp**

~TigressSky~
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Default)
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Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them.

~TigressSky~
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Default)
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UFO = Unidentified Flying Object. You dont have to have a gut belief of it, their are reports daily about Unidentified Flying Objects, ask an radio control tower dealing with monitoring flight patterns if you need a few reports of UFO's.

Maybe the question was suppose to address if we believe in Aliens from other Planets?

~TigressSky~
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Default)
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Ah, good old St Patty, a man who we are reminded of every year by a pre-printed celebration denoting his day of death on our calendars. A day that has morphed from a pious catholic feast to a drunken green brawl.

The writer's block topic asks the question "Will I celebrate St Patricks Day" and yet I find the real question being posed to me is "Should I, as a Pagan, celebrate St Patricks Day?" As I have come to devise from dealing with Pagans, year after year, my ideal of Pagan is far more generalized and open than most. Therefore I have begun to push myself away from using the term Pagan, focusing more on being a spiritualist, if I defined it maybe a "spiritual noncomforming historically focused analyst and ritualist"; whatever that may mean.

As is fitting, in order to answer the question I had to really look into who St Patrick was and more importanly what this day that seems to honor him was all about. Not being one to recreate the wheel I have compiled some info from various sources and come up with the below synopsis:

"Little is known of Patrick's early life, though it is known that he was born in Roman Britain in the fifth century, into a wealthy Romano-British family. His father and grandfather were deacons in the Church. At the age of sixteen, he was kidnapped by Irish raiders and taken captive to Ireland as a slave. It is believed he was held somewhere on the west coast of Ireland, possibly Mayo, but the exact location is unknown. According to his Confession Letter, he was told by God in a dream to flee from captivity to the coast, where he would board a ship and return to Britain. Upon returning, he quickly joined the Church in Auxerre in Gaul and studied to be a priest.

In 432, he again says that he was called by God to go back to Ireland, though this time as a bishop, to Christianize the Irish from their native polytheism.

Pious legend credits Patrick with banishing snakes from the island, though all evidence suggests that post-glacial Ireland never had snakes; one suggestion is that snakes referred to the serpent symbolism of the Druids of that time and place, as shown for instance on coins minted in Gaul (see Carnutes), or that it could have referred to beliefs such as Pelagianism, symbolised as “serpents”. Legend also credits Patrick with teaching the Irish about the concept of the Trinity by showing people the shamrock, a 3-leaved clover, using it to highlight the Christian belief of 'three divine persons in the one God'.

During his evangelising journey back to Ireland from his parent's home at Birdoswald, he is understood to have carried with him an ash wood walking stick or staff. He thrust this stick into the ground wherever he was evangelising and at the place now known as Aspatria (ash of Patrick) the message of the dogma took so long to get through to the people there that the stick had taken root by the time he was ready to move on.

March 17, popularly known as St. Patrick's Day, is believed to be his death date and is the date celebrated as his feast day. The day became a feast day in the universal church due to the influence of the Waterford-born Franciscan scholar Luke Wadding, as a member of the commission for the reform of the Breviary in the early part of the 17th century.

In 1903, Saint Patrick's Day became an official public holiday in Ireland. This was thanks to the Bank Holiday (Ireland) Act 1903, an Act of the United Kingdom Parliament introduced by the Irish MP James O'Mara.

It was only in the mid-1990s that the Irish government began a campaign to use Saint Patrick's Day to showcase Ireland and its culture. The government set up a group called St. Patrick's Festival, with the aim to:
— Offer a national festival that ranks amongst all of the greatest celebrations in the world and promote excitement throughout Ireland via innovation, creativity, grassroots involvement, and marketing activity.
— Provide the opportunity and motivation for people of Irish descent, (and those who sometimes wish they were Irish) to attend and join in the imaginative and expressive celebrations.
— Project, internationally, an accurate image of Ireland as a creative, professional and sophisticated country with wide appeal, as we approach the new millennium."


The above being said, I find no reason why, as a Pagan, (or whatever that fancy name I just gave myself above means), one should not embrace and celebrate St Patricks day. Yet let me explain my reasoning further.

Pagan's cannot remain stuck in the past and let go of the present. Yet I find that so many Pagan's are indoctrinated with the ideal that the "past" is how it should be and the "present" is all fucked up because things have changed, "Ancient traditions, sabbats and beliefs have been 'stolen' by the Xians and thats wrong!"

Historically speaking, spirtual traditions have always been "stolen" and incorporated by each and every faith base as cultures progressed and changed via the people and the leadership of said people. For example, just taking a small glimpse of what is viewed as the orgins of Western spiritual culture, you can follow Egyptians "stealing" from Mesopotamians, Greeks "stealing" from Eqgyptians, and the Romans "stealing" from everyone they conquered. All of these cultures incorporated these "stolen" ideals into their own spiritual culture enhancing and enriching upon each ideal as it would fit into the society and lifestyles of the people. So, how is it one defines what is truly an "Ancient" tradition and what is just a "stolen" ideal?

While one chews on that ideal, I try and progress forward to the subject at hand, St Patricks day.

What was historically going on in Ireland at the time Bishop Patrick returned to save it? Huge change, huge questioning, struggle for idependence, a searching for traditions that fit the 'modern' world and made the peoples find hope in what was a very hopeless time. There is a reason why Irish peoples do not have a proclivity for displaying emotions even though they are seen has highly emotional people.

The Celtic/Druidic beliefs held by the masses at this time would have helped to support this down-trodden desperation the Irish held. Anyone who takes a small glimpse into the world of these "Ancient" Irish traditions will see a harshness within them that people just don't like to admit civilizations could have lived with. Their traditions were full of blood, sacrifice and harsh Gods that were extremely hard to please.

Enter onto the scene St Patrick. A man, who was a slave, and is now a Bishop. A man who comes professing a doctrine of "hope", "truth", and "salvation" to people who are searching for something. His beliefs speak of love and forgiveness and hope that is not found in the current spiritual traditions. Not to mention this Patrick has the ability to market himself to the right group, Kings and artistocrats, so as to effect the whole of the masses rather than trying to start within the masses and effect the whole.

With this knowledge Patrick was easily able to convert a mass of Irish people's to his way of thinking. This, relatively fast progressing, mass conversion of Patrick's supporters would in fact be the hammer that would "drive out the snakes", in essence creating and coining the symbolic phrase.

St Patrick and his influence aside, as all spiritual traditions have historically progressed, each "drives out the snakes" of it's predecessors. Even now, in modern Western spiritual paths, New-Age Pagan traditions push to convert/reclaim "Ancient" spiritual traditions in essence "driving out the snakes" of the major monothetistic traditions typically found to be Xian in nature. On this point, do we as Pagan's then really differ from Sain Patrick? (Pagans do differe greatly in other areas, yet those are a different topics altogether.)

Does the Pagan belief that reclaimation of the "stolen" "Ancient" traditions can/will better aid us in our current struggles for idependence, searching for traditions that better fit this 'modern' world, and help for people to find hope in what is a very hopeless time - differ that greatly from the needs the Irish had so long ago? Needs that caused the Irish to quickly convert, following a man offering such hope.

Times are different but spirituality continues to progress as it always has. With "stolen" traditions being incorporated to meet the needs of a society and it's desire for independence within traditions that can fit the modern times and crisis' that the world one lives in suffers, "driving out the snakes" and filling us with the hope we need to survive.

Symbolically it makes sense that St Patrick would be given such honor among the Irish. Symbolically it also makes sense that the Catholic Church would, shortly thereafter, choose to recoginize St Patrick's day as well and use his posthumous influence to market themselves more strongly to their constiuents.

As the Catholic majority of Ireland began to struggle for true indepence from the oppresive Protestant United Kingdom, St Patrick's day morphed yet again. Now the traditional blue that had been associated to St Patrick and his feast day was changed to green, found in the color of St. Patrick's Shamrock, as the Catholics who desired indepence took up this symbolism against the oppresive Protestants who took up the color orange - hence why the Irish flag is Green and Orange with a large white stripe seperating the two.

St Patrick's day therefore became politically driven as Ireland struggled for indepence. Indepence became associated to the color green and St Patrick's day itself was now a symbolic day of strength for Ireland, a day to recognize the struggles Ireland itself was going through to gain indepence and "drive out" the newest "snakes" who opposed it.

Eventually, peace agreements were reached, and two seperate Ireland's were formed, the now independent Republic of Ireland in the South and West and the area of Northern Ireland which remains part of the United Kingdom to this day. Even though the seperation was designated and agreed to violence remained between the two until the late 1980's.

In the 90's, to help promote the new peaceful ideal of a more united Ireland and it's heritage St Patrick's day itself was changed. As described in the quoted material above, St Patrick's day has now become a day that represents Irish pride and respect for all that Ireland is and has been through.

Knowing all this and working my way through it I have to say that the answer is yes, as Pagans we should in fact celebrate St Patricks day. Hell, unless you hate the Irish and the transformations spirituality has made through time, I don't see why anyone would shun celebrating this day.

~TigressSky~
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Beware of Dog)
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Not that Im having any form of writer's block, but this subject got me thinking so off on a tangent I go...

Who defines what is good-natured or bad-natured teasing anyway? The teaser or the teased? I suppose it is all in the eye of the beholder and what end of the spectrum you deem deserves your support more. Most often one sides with the recipient of the teasing and not the one dishing it out. There is some innate pride in human nature that sides protectively against injustice. For most of us a grieved person seems to be the one suffering from the injustice rather than the one dishing the suffering out.

Of course, there are quite often just as many times when the innate survival mode of humanity kicks in and even if your heart sides with the grieved your physical-self acts with the one causing grievous injury. Thus following the animal instinct to stick with the herd and push out the weak. The need to be popular, to be at the top of the pack, to not be pushed out oneself, will ultimately overwhelm the need to be just and fair.

So again I ask, who defines what is good-natured versus bad-natured teasing?

I have read some of the gut driven responses to this writer's block topic and I have to question if anyone has stepped outside of their own personal heart and admitted that they don't even know what good-natured teasing is? Like truth it is all in the eye of the beholder.

I take the stance that there is no good versus bad teasing that there is just teasing period the end.

What if the question addressed the actual definitive rather than trying to give an implied intent to it?

"Do you think teasing often goes too far?"

Would you answer this very new question differently? As it is now a question that no longer tries to give a positive intent to the definitive. What about the propagandized photo of the sad baseball playing boy that accompanies the question in an attempt pull at your heart strings. Does it tug a little stronger at them when you take away the implied positive intent of the definitive? What changes for you when the boy is now simply being teased rather than being teased with a good-natured intent?

For me this question actually connects to the root of a piece of human egotism that I feel is destroying our species; focused equality. No, I am not talking about the type of focus on equality that has lead to several civil rights movements. I am instead talking about the off-shot twisted dichotomy the ideal of equality has managed to tangle itself into. This need to make everything equal in such a way that there is no longer any reward for hard work nor discipline for lack there of. An ideal that no one is special or more deserving than anyone else - ever. An ideal that has spawned a need to do our best to guarantee any systems that exists that celebrates achievements be destroyed, so as to spare the feelings of those whom did not meet the standards of said system.

We are moving towards, and, in some places are already at these stations of destroyed analysis. We no longer grade our students, we no longer have an honor role, we have stopped keeping score in sports, etc., etc. - all for the ideal that everyone is special and everyone is equal and no one is better than anyone else, or can achieve better than anyone else.

This is such utter drivel.

Yes, many of these systems we set standards by are outdated and judgmental, however, rather than updating the system to reflect a new set of standards, or even taking the time to create new ones, we decide to just destroy them. We look to just get rid of anything that forces a person to work hard and possibly suffer in order to excel.

Teasing happens to be a natural human instinct driven system. We cannot destroy this system as it is animalistic in nature; and, therefore we are instead trying to control it. We label, define and set-up it's echelon. We provide it with a notion of positive and negative. All with the ideal that we can judge and define when it is allowed and when it is not. In essence, setting up a standard of abuse that can be labeled 'okay' to commit.

Is it really okay, ever? Even as we define it to be? As noted above, the very ability to define it is questionable itself, and quite often the authority to do so is owned by the majority and the majority tend to be the one(s) leading the taunt?

Or maybe the better question is; how does one truly set definitions and limitations to human nature? How does one label what is and isn't okay for a human's very own nature?

All teasing crosses lines and provides a level of sting. That’s the nature of it, regardless of the good or bad intent of the one doing the teasing. I think the true issue exists in our attempts to define and label when teasing is good and when it is bad. Not, as is suggested by this very question, in looking at the intent of the teaser as it contrasts to the perception of the teased, and, if the teaser has 'gone too far'. The very act of teasing suggests that the teaser is willing to step over a line, thus they have already 'gone too far'.

When I think back on the hardships of my life and the amount of teasing I have gone through it is enormous and if it were given cash value I am sure it could pay-off the National Debt. I do not think I could describe it all in an average book; nor do I think I can remember and recall it all in the varied forms it presented and presents itself to me throughout life.

I have seen and heard things from others who make the teasing that happened in my life appear as barely a drop in the bucket of what teasing can be. Most of whom have become and continue to become the most amazing people.

At the same time I have seen some whom have gone ballistic, bringing guns to schools, work and the streets to let loose a torment that matches the sting of the tease. Their actions driven by the societal need to set an echelon on the quality and types of teasing allowed. The focused equality spreading like butter on the bread of instant gratification, making them believe such actions are okay - as okay as the very teasing that lead them here.

The more we try and sterilize our lives to the adversities they contain the more we enable an inability to deal with them; thus creating extreme and disproportionate actions in which to do so.

Teasing is one of the most constant adversities we will face in life. We should stop trying to sterilize it and start trying to learn from it.

So, the simple answer to this questions is, yes, sometimes teasing seems to go to far as it always crosses some sort of line and, by it's very nature, will hurt someone’s feelings. However, in the long run, the teasing aids us to learn to cope with and move through life's adversities. How we learn to handle our actions and reactions to such adversity is what really matters in shaping and defining our very lives. Therefore teasing is important to the very growth of our beings.

~TigressSky~
tigrissky: Tiger in Green Sea (Default)
The one true question, Ninjas or Pirates?

Personally I think -

Of course we could always Ask a Ninja?

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I have to agree with this review.

~TigressSky~

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