what I want
Mon, Apr. 2nd, 2012 13:59This Body
~TigressSky © April 2 , 2012~
This is what I want
I don't want perfect
Or un-curvy
I wish I could see
These pockets of imperfection
As medals of honor
For surviving the war
Yet the battles that created them
Are self-inflicted
In some form selfish
In the self loathing
Ways in which I decided
I should live
Under the power of his fist
But even more powerful
Were the lies he would spit
Steering me
Into hatred of those mirrored green eyes
And even more hatred
Of the finger-tipped feeling
A pen gripped tight in hand
As each word flowed
Improperly placed
Improperly structured
My torrential stupidity
Etching every page
Yet still I wrote
Hoping, someday it would be
Beautiful
It always was
It always is
Beautiful
Yet I stayed
Under the guise of happy
In an un-beautiful situation
And that my friends
Is the selfish self-inflicted part
Of this journey
A glass of echoed nakedness
Show this bodies war
Fully coated with
The pitfalls
Of a brutal life
Were self pity
Is not
Can never be
Allowed
Stand tall soldier
So I do
With a pride that aches
At the site of
These imperfections
That no amount of running
Will leave behind
Or cure
Yes
This is what I want
I don't want perfect
Or un-curvy
Yet I wish
These pockets of imperfection
These medals of disgraceful mistakes
Weaved with a lack of strength
Could be removed from my site
I know I survived the war
So why
Why do I have to show anyone
That I had to fight?
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