what is love

Where the sunlight stops, my heart begins.

Things. How have "things" been? The simple answer is of course fine. Yet what does fine mean anyway?

A few nights ago I had a dream in which Ben Nichols, (pictured above), the lead singer of Lucero, was the star. It was a strangely revealing dream for me. I was, dressed in rock-a-billy-pin-up fashion, at one of his shows. I had drank too much whiskey and was slurring along to his songs leaning against the front of the stage. Afterwards I went into the bar, but this time I wasn't waiting around to get an opportunity to chat with him. This time he came to me. He smiled, his coy smile, and in that deep gravely voice of his said, "what are you doing after all this dies down?"

( Well what did I say? )

The two most significant pieces I found in these dreams were:

1) It is obvious my relationship with my Baby is serious and deep in my heart. That obnoxious
perfectness I feel is true and the light-foot my heart dances with right now is real and true.

2) Over the past three years, my strong need to figure out how sex fits in my life drove me slowly closer and closer to finding my hearts path is monogamy. With this discovery my heart is no longer weighing heavy questions of its logic upon me. Sex is sacred and a form of love, yes. Yet, I finally understand that my deep love with someone has nothing to do with having sexual intimacy with them. My Baby and I share some of the most intimate moments totally clothed, cuddled on a couch, watching Battlestar Galactica!

In fact sex, while being so fucking amazing and mind-blowing with my Baby (a whole other post entirely!), is not something that is top priority in us being together. As well, sex is not a priority in love. It is an amazing feeling to understand that about the love I offer. The gift of my true deep love, does not equate with "fucking" as much as I use to think it did. I am still working out how I show that love exists and how I gift it to others - yet, sex is not it. I finally, understand that and in ways I cannot properly describe, monogamy has become so utterly beautiful to me. Sex has become something I just want to share with one person and in doing that, I finally understand, I am not limiting my ability to share my love with others.

Not one little bit.

~TigressSky~

pain

"Tattoo"
Todd Davis

Try telling the boy who’s just had his girlfriend’s name
cut into his arm that there’s slippage between the signifier
and the signified. Or better yet explain to the girl
who watched in the mirror as the tattoo artist stitched
the word for her father’s name (on earth as in heaven)
across her back that words aren’t made of flesh and blood,
that they don’t bite the skin. Language is the animal
we’ve trained to pick up the scent of meaning. It’s why
when the boy hears his father yelling at the door
he sends the dog that he’s kept hungry, that he’s kicked,
then loved, to attack the man, to show him that every word
has a consequence, that language, when used right, hurts.