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and so it is
Fri, Feb. 1st, 2013 10:35Spoiler Alert: If you are watching Battlestar Galactica or you intend to watch it DO NOT WATCH this video.
As well, may I just add if you are not even intending to watch it you are insane it is AWESOME so go watch it NOW! I think I am going to start it for a third time tonight!
And so it is I find myself coming out of the denial and anger phase and entering into acceptance. So much has died for me. Therefore, so much is in bloom.
I sat last night and visited with a man who once, I thought I was falling in love with - a long while ago. One of the many. We became friends after dating briefly and stomping on my heart together. As we always do.
Last night, we caught up and then he opened up to me, and, for the first time, I learned a lot of deeply personal things about him.
During our talk he began asking about what good relationships are like. I don't know that I am any type of expert on that, I mean come on, my track record is pathetic and I am crazy; not a good combo for advice in any degree. Yet it is me, so I had lots of it to give ... or more like I had lots to analyze and come up with possible solutions for. HA!
What happened though was an evening of me reflecting on the most easy, loving, and complete relationship I have ever been in - it is the one I am in right now.
I sat with him, sharing my current reflection, smiling with complete joy at the wonders of the moments my current relationship offers. Tossing him anecdotal evidence as to what it means, in this very moment, to be in a truly wholesome relationship.
It ended up being a fun evening of reflection and appreciation on my end. As well as an evening of smiles and hope on his. His happiness and genuine enthusiasm with my "advice" made me feel like myself around a friend again. Which, in turn, eased a bit of the weight of so many of my friendships sitting in limbo right now. So many seemingly lost in translation and a sea of emotional turmoil I myself cannot even figure out how to navigate right now.
Which brought me to this point here. The point where Starbuck lets go.
I gave my heart, soul, and all of my free time to something that is and always will be so worth it to me. Even when I crashed and burned I still returned to it, more determined than ever and yet now, well, it is time to let go.
I have stopped clinging to the ideal that I need to protect everyone and be a central figure to keep things going. We have landed. People are going their own way. Life is changing in all directions around us and, for me to serve any further than I have is simply just me clinging unnecessarily and unwanted - except by a small few.
So it is, with acceptance and love, I let go.
*wwwooooosssssshhhhhh*
Yet, then where am I going?
Like Starbuck, I don't know, I just know that I am done here. I've completed my journey and ... it feels good.
Along the way, I hope I have inspired many to take on adventures they never thought they could or would before. I hope there are those who will not forget all I have done and gave of myself in doing so; especially all the love.
In the end, even if that is not the case, it is okay - because I know and I have become a better person for all of it.
So say we all.
~TigressSky~
As well, may I just add if you are not even intending to watch it you are insane it is AWESOME so go watch it NOW! I think I am going to start it for a third time tonight!
And so it is I find myself coming out of the denial and anger phase and entering into acceptance. So much has died for me. Therefore, so much is in bloom.
I sat last night and visited with a man who once, I thought I was falling in love with - a long while ago. One of the many. We became friends after dating briefly and stomping on my heart together. As we always do.
Last night, we caught up and then he opened up to me, and, for the first time, I learned a lot of deeply personal things about him.
During our talk he began asking about what good relationships are like. I don't know that I am any type of expert on that, I mean come on, my track record is pathetic and I am crazy; not a good combo for advice in any degree. Yet it is me, so I had lots of it to give ... or more like I had lots to analyze and come up with possible solutions for. HA!
What happened though was an evening of me reflecting on the most easy, loving, and complete relationship I have ever been in - it is the one I am in right now.
I sat with him, sharing my current reflection, smiling with complete joy at the wonders of the moments my current relationship offers. Tossing him anecdotal evidence as to what it means, in this very moment, to be in a truly wholesome relationship.
It ended up being a fun evening of reflection and appreciation on my end. As well as an evening of smiles and hope on his. His happiness and genuine enthusiasm with my "advice" made me feel like myself around a friend again. Which, in turn, eased a bit of the weight of so many of my friendships sitting in limbo right now. So many seemingly lost in translation and a sea of emotional turmoil I myself cannot even figure out how to navigate right now.
Which brought me to this point here. The point where Starbuck lets go.
I gave my heart, soul, and all of my free time to something that is and always will be so worth it to me. Even when I crashed and burned I still returned to it, more determined than ever and yet now, well, it is time to let go.
I have stopped clinging to the ideal that I need to protect everyone and be a central figure to keep things going. We have landed. People are going their own way. Life is changing in all directions around us and, for me to serve any further than I have is simply just me clinging unnecessarily and unwanted - except by a small few.
So it is, with acceptance and love, I let go.
*wwwooooosssssshhhhhh*
Yet, then where am I going?
Like Starbuck, I don't know, I just know that I am done here. I've completed my journey and ... it feels good.
Along the way, I hope I have inspired many to take on adventures they never thought they could or would before. I hope there are those who will not forget all I have done and gave of myself in doing so; especially all the love.
In the end, even if that is not the case, it is okay - because I know and I have become a better person for all of it.
So say we all.
~TigressSky~
