*sigh*

[tigrissky]

Boo!
~TigressSky © April 19, 2012~

Nightmares?
I thought I had gotten past this.
Yet just the thought of you
Angry at me
For making a choice to leave
Kills my heart.

I never chose
To leave you.
I was told
I couldn't see you
Anymore.

Yet I sit awash in feelings of guilt
That I didn't scream
Fight
Cry
And die
Raging against them
And their false power
To see you
To keep you
From my life.

I just let them tell me
What I was
And wasn't
Allowed.

And I cried myself
Into fitful sleeps
For months on end
Until
Eventually
One night
The tears didn't come.

Yet even without tears
I think about you
With each inhale
Of life I take
And I am certain
When the breath stops
You will still be
The one thing
I keep with me
Always.

And I will never breath
Without gasping deep into my lungs
The drowning guilt
Of not fighting harder
Nor will I escape
The nightmares
Developed purely from
The fearful belief
In your anger
Towards me
For a choice I couldn't control
And a love lost
That I can never let go.